Full Moons

I used to love full moons. When I was a child we lived in far and away places where you saw the Milky Way each night and full moons shined like the sun. My father always told me that the moon was my friend and if I looked carefully I would notice that it followed me. He said that the full moon was a guardian angel of sorts and was always there and always will be.

My husband died suddenly during a full moon. I’ll never forget the image of that big round full moon shining through the window just above my husband’s hospital bed on that fateful night before he took his last breath.

Just after 2am on that horrible night I left the ICU for the last time and entered our empty home. I sat myself down in our back yard to collect my thoughts before trying to get some rest. That big full moon that was shining on Glenn less than an hour before was now shining on me. I sat there all night as I watched the moon travel through the sky before it disappeared to meet the dawn.

Emotions can run high during full moons, so I’ve learned to tread carefully during this time each month, so I plan ahead by marking the calendar. I will also light a big beautiful white candle in a large glass container so the light flickers on my ceiling like dancing fairies. I keep my schedule light on full moons and always make something special to eat or buy my favorite desert for a special treat.

Full moons are a time of harvest where we can reap what we sowed during the growing moon each month. It can also be a time of letting go. The full spends two weeks each month growing in all its glory so at the time of the full moon its ripe, full, like a pregnant mommy ready to give birth. Hospital maternity wards are full during full moons. I was born on a full moon and so was my son, stepson and all three grandchildren.

Since being widowed I’ve learned to focus more on the natural flow of things. Nature has become my friend. Birds follow me on my walks with my dog, I notice the small flower that’s growing out of the crack in the road and full moons have started to comfort me again.

Today is a full moon. Its also a Sunday, my late husband’s favorite day of the week. I’ll light a candle tonight in his honor and eat a piece of Key Lime Pie. I’ll look for that mother moon tonight and draw on happier times of days gone by and be thankful for the happy memories and honor them on this full moon.

I’m learning to love full moons again.

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