Wednesday we will not only be in a new year but also a new decade!
I entered the last two decades with my late husband by my side and this time I will welcome the new year and decade without him.
I’ll never forget our first New Years together. It was 1999 and everyone was into the Y2K scare. My late husband and I giggled at everyone lined up for bottled water that year even after the new decade had come and gone in other parts of the world without any feared glitches. We thought we had so much time together. We didn’t know what the future held for us but we had a strong bond of budding love at the time and both knew we were in it for the long haul.
I was thinking this morning that time has evolved my grief. I now look forward to the future instead of dreading it. I have some big goals for 2020 and just as meaningful, some small ones. A few years ago I would not have said this.
2019 was a turning point for me and was also the great year of travel. I went to Canada, Utah (twice), New York, Maryland (4x), San Francisco (8x) and the West Indies. I finally was able to visit St Croix where my late husband spent many childhood holidays. His grandparents owned a home there and he always talked about how much he loved it and wanted to share it with me. I felt his presence with me every moment in St. Croix as if he was right beside me! I’ll never forget that, ever.
The year is ending with the passing of my dear uncle Jim. He was larger than life and was always my cheerleader, no matter what! I was thinking about him this morning and how my cheerleader is now gone. My cousins buried their father the day after Christmas. My father also died this time of year 34 years ago. I’ve noticed that many pass away this time of year. Or maybe we just notice it more? Regardless, it gives me pause and I know that one day I too will be gone. And as we enter a new year and a new decade I am filled with wonder and hope for the future.
I heard a saying this year that really hit home. I was at the movies with my 86 year old mother and they showed a trailer for the upcoming Bruce Springsteen documentary. Bruce Springsteen looked at the camera and said, “So, you walk on through the dark because that’s how you get to the next morning.”
Happy New Year, welcome 2020!