My grandmother always said, “look for the good because the bad always shows itself.”
Grief is tough enough to deal with without adding more conflict. Secondary loss is real. I’ve known many who are bereaved who have experienced more than one loss in a year, some have had multiple losses all at once or over a short period of time. Others have lost income, friends, have experienced illness and so much more.
Now, here we are, not only dealing with grief and all that brings, add COVID and all that brings, and now we have riots and all that brings.
We may not be able to control many of these bad things that come in life. We also can’t control the behavior of others. But what we can do is live by example, police ourselves (instead of others), know that hope is always there and look for the good.
I’ve also found that getting out in nature helps to calm us. Nature is always there, no matter what. Winter makes way for Spring where new life starts again, which makes way for summer where we have long days, beautiful warm nights, all life is alive and flourishing. Then we move to Fall where we harvest what we’ve sewn and then the circle starts again. Nothing stops this circle of life. It’s always there. We can count on this, always.
So, get outside today if you can. Look for that little flower growing out of the crack in the road. The hard tar doesn’t stop that tiny flower from breaking through and blossoming. The lotus flower even grows out of the mud. See what you notice that’s beautiful. Birds, flowers, sunshine, a warm breeze. Whatever the case may be. Did you know that just a short 20-minute walk changes our brain chemistry for the better?
When I was newly widowed and felt all hope was lost because I felt so broken, I stumbled upon a saying by Leonard Cohen, the famous Canadian poet that saved me. “There’s a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” That was me. This is me. I am broken. I’ve had tragedy and loss. I don’t know where we are all headed. I don’t know when this COVID will go away and all this angst. But what I do know is that the light is on inside of me and this keeps me going, it always will. I can for you too.
Bruce Springsteen said it best, “So, you walk on through the dark because that’s how you get to the next morning.”