27Dec 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Imperfectly Perfect

afterlife, career, goals, Holidays
My late husband was kind, he would give a stranger the shirt off his back. I’ll never forget our first date when he made a quick pit stop after picking me up to give his only VCR to a friend who didn’t have one. What I remember the most about that moment was the sincere look of joy on his face as he got back in the car after giving away his precious possession. He took me on many lavish dates that I know he couldn’t afford. He had a short fuse and struggled with addiction before I met him. He had a big heart and knew how to love deeply and each morning would say, “today is going to be a good day.” He was imperfectly perfect. Growing up…
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29Nov 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

The Holidays and Grief

afterlife, Holidays, Hope
How is your grief during the holidays?  Does it bring up your pain so you avoid, or do you throw yourself into it and fake it to make it? I’m not exactly sure it’s either or. The first holiday season after my husband died, I was mostly a zombie with moments of reality thrown in. The body gives us a gift during times of duress, it’s called shock. Death shock usually starts to wear off between 6-12 months after a loss. I was at month 8 that year and still very fragile. I don’t recall much that first holiday season. I do remember putting up a small tree. I had bought an electric pink Christmas tree the year before so after Thanksgiving that year I ventured into the garage to…
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22Nov 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Collateral Beauty

afterlife, Holidays, Love, Memories
A couple short months after my husband’s sudden death I found myself in an email exchange with a Sandy Hook mother. Her 6-year-old son was shot multiple times and killed by a mentally ill teenager in late 2012, it was a horrific tragedy that made international news. I knew my pain and couldn’t even imagine how she dealt with hers. Yet, she said something to me that I’ll never forget. “Have you heard of Post Traumatic Growth,” she said? “It’s called PTSG and it’s a strange phenomenon that happens after tragic loss, your heart grows and you begin to feel love for your fellow man for no reason at all, no reason at all.” At the time I couldn’t imagine this yet, I really heard her words and told her…
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01Nov 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Anniversary Time Again…

afterlife, Holidays, Love, Memories, Widow
Fall is anniversary time for me. October 21 was my late husband’s birthday and November 3 our wedding anniversary. I’ll never forget the first Fall after my husband’s passing. He died in the Spring so by the time his birthday came around that first year it’d been 7 months since I was suddenly widowed. He would have been 58 but only made it to 57. I woke up early that day and feeling like a zombie, I walked to the end of the pier where we often visited and left a bouquet of birthday balloons and roses. I didn’t mind if someone took them. I actually hoped someone did. I imagined a down and out person taking a walk at the beach to quietly celebrate their birthday only to find…
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06Sep 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Is Time a Trick?

afterlife, Time
Have you ever noticed how when you’re enjoying what you’re doing and focused that time tends to speed up? Conversely, when you’re bored, time seems to drag? P.M.H Atwater wrote a book entitled, “Future Memories.” Time is a trick and can be bent one way or the other. She says that "some claim time absolute; others have said the future could be altered if people were willing to change certain attitudes and behaviors.” She recounts the following story in her book.  "I was doing the morning dishes when this rush of energy nearly lifted my head off. I suddenly experienced myself at a dinner party that night, saw who would be there, and took part in what happened and what was said. The whole thing was so real, I decided…
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23Aug 2020 by Rachel Greenberg 10 Comments

I Used to Think my Loss was the ONLY Loss in the World

afterlife, Love, Memories, Post Traumatic Growth, Widow
After my husband died, I felt like my loss was the only loss in the world. The pain of losing the love of my life was enormous, all encompassing. And, because it was sudden and unexpected, this only added to my mountain of grief. I also was the only one in my immediate family or peer group who had lost a loved out of the order of things. My loss stood out. Glenn was in the prime of life, he wasn’t sick and lived each day with a zest for life like no other. Then on a typical Saturday morning in 2013 he suffered a fatal brain bleed out of the blue while I was out doing errands. The first few months after this I was numb. Then I cried…
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02Aug 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Sunday Morning

afterlife, Fathers, living in the moment, Love, Memories, Uncategorized, Widow
My late husband taught me to enjoy Sunday mornings and his mother taught me the art of lounging before rushing off to start the day. Before I met my late husband, I don’t ever recall staying in bed even for a short period of time before jumping up and out each morning. I don’t know what I was always in such a rush to do, especially on Sunday mornings. Glenn changed this for me, forever. Early on in our romance Glenn would run out on Sunday mornings to buy the New York Times. He would always tell me to stay in bed until he returned. Within 20 minutes he would be back with a fresh cup of coffee from my favorite place and oftentimes with red roses in hand. He’d…
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26Jul 2020 by Rachel Greenberg No Comments

Do You Believe in Life After Death?

afterlife, Dreams
Do you believe in life after death? I used to be a non-believer in anything afterlife. This of course was before the love of my life died suddenly. When my late husband was alive and well it was easy for me to be what I now refer to as an “intellectual atheist.” And then when he was suddenly gone, this didn’t feel right to me. The thought that his light went out forever was not something that I was prepared to accept so I started searching for answers. They say that there are two big questions for mankind: Are we alone? Is there life after death? I’ve written a lot about the life after death stuff. Check out some of my blog pages about the afterlife and you can read…
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28Jun 2020 by Rachel Greenberg 2 Comments

How Alone Time Helped Me Heal

afterlife, Hope, living in the moment, Love, Memories
I’ve always been a loner and have had the ability to keep myself occupied and happy without much. As a young child we lived in National Parks where I spent a lot of time in nature. Nature teaches you that you don’t need much to find the beauty because its right in front of you like a gift. I spent many lazy days in fields of wildflowers as a kid without a care in the world. I always felt looked after and safe. It was an innocent time. Then as I grew and we moved to cities and life took other turns, I lost much of that magic I’d found in simple things. Life became complex and busy and “tomorrow,” would be when the good times would arrive. Today was…
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21Jun 2020 by Rachel Greenberg 65 Comments

Happy Fathers Day

afterlife, Dreams, Father's Day, Fathers, Holidays
My father was my first love. I was his favorite child. Although he loved and adored all of his children, it was obvious to me early on that I was his little mini me. He had a zest for life that I fell in love with. My dad was an adventurous man. He loved exploring. On the weekends he would seek out fun things to do. Nature hikes, art museums, concerts in the park and festivals of all kinds were typical weekend outings. He would invite the whole family to go and for whatever reason, I was usually the only one interested. We went fishing a lot. So, when my father proclaimed one night at the family dinner table that he was going to start taking one child per month…
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